


More Than You'll Ever Know

by ceeloilights



Category: Green Lantern - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Carol Ferris (mentioned) - Freeform, Eavesdropping, Happy Father's Day, Happy Mothers Day!, Iris West (Mentioned) - Freeform, Jack Jordan (mentioned), Jessica Jordan (mentioned), Love Confession, M/M, Martha Kent (mentioned) - Freeform, Nora Allen (mentioned) - Freeform, Wingman Present, hungry boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-03-02 11:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceeloilights/pseuds/ceeloilights
Summary: Before spending their Mothers Day at the Kents, Barry and Hal stop at the cemetery for Barry to say some words to his mother, while Hal tries to find a way to tell his mother how much she means to him. Things take a turn when Hal accidentally overhears Barry confessing to his mother, and-geez, was his breath always this labored?





	1. Happy Mothers Day, Mom

**Author's Note:**

> Hai!  
> I've found myself wondering what Hal would do when it was Mothers Day since he and his mom have a complicated relationship, then I started wondering how Barry would spend his Mothers Day. Thus, this story was created.  
> I hope you enjoy!  
> (I am MOST DEFINITELY going to make a Fathers Day chapter and be updating the tags. What can I say? I'm trash.)

Walking up to his mother's grave was always hard for him, yet there was always this relieved feeling that washed over his brain whenever he saw those letters carved into her headstone.

Hal fell behind him at the gates, saying how Barry could take his time and say some words without having another person listening in.

Barry shifted the bouquet of red and yellow Alstroemerias Lilies from his right hand to his left.

"Hi, mom. I...I missed you..." he crouched down, placing the lilies on her grave, "Its Mothers Day today, and...it reminds me about you...a lot..."

"I wish you could see me now. I bet you'd be proud." his arms coming up to rest on his knees, "I've grown up from being your little hero to being everyone's Flash."

A small smile began creeping up on his face, memories of his mother flashing through his mind like some kind of screen show.

"I miss you."

 

* * *

 

Hal leaned down to rest his elbows on his knees, letting out a sigh.

He told Barry that he would leave him alone so he could give some words to his mom without having to be self-conscious about every word coming from his mouth.

But, now that he was alone, Hal wished he actually stayed with the speedster, since the only thing floating in his mind right now was how he should be telling his mom how much he loved her, like every other person.

It wasn't that Hal hated his mom. It not even that Hal couldn't tolerate her. He actually really wanted her company sometimes, and it sucks that his mom couldn't forgive him for the things he has done.

Hes wanted to tell his mom that he genuinely loves her and how much he misses her whenever things were rough.

Yet, even when he has his finger hovering over her phone number, he couldn’t seem to get himself to say 'Happy Mothers Day' out loud.

He's been staring at the numbers for what felt like hours. The last words shouted from his mother's mouth playing back in his head.

Bowing his head, he let out a sigh. Bringing a hand up to his face as he groaned.

This was so stupid.

Why couldn't he just regularly talk to his mother like everyone else?

He bet Jack and Jim were completely comfortable with talking to his mom, so why couldn't he be like them?

Hell, why couldn't he have the relationship Barry had with his own mom?

Looking back up, the numbers seeming to tease and taunt him, silently telling him how his mother could never accept his apology, so why would she take his words at all?

"This is dumb," Hal mumbled to himself as he tilted his head back to look up at the sky.

Sighing again, Hal brought his finger over to press the lock button on his phone, then stuffed it back into his jean pocket.

Standing up, Hal wandered over to the cemetery gates, which were decorated with chins of ivy and somewhat cloudy spiderwebs.

Poking his head in the cemetery to see if Barry was coming back any time soon, he spotted a head of blond crouched near a headstone.

He knew he told Barry that he'd hang behind, but what kind of friend would he be if he didn't just hang around and make sure Barry was okay?

Quietly, Hal tip-toed in, making sure his steps were barely above human hearing levels.

He approached the speedster, step by step. Then, stopped when Barry began talking.

"It's something about him that I wish I could have all to myself, but...I guess that'd be selfish." he paused to sigh, "I am a hero after all..."

That got Hal to raise an eyebrow. The statement seems more romantic rather than platonic, maybe that was how Barry felt about that person. Perhaps he met someone he wanted to be with.

"What do you think, mom? Do you think it's just a silly crush?" Barry said, shoulders hunched and fingers playing with the flower petals, "I feel like it's a bit risky to try and, I don't know, confess my feelings or something cheesy like that, to him. _Especially,_  to him."

Barry raised his head a bit, and Hal was so sure that he was about to turn around and see him, but he didn't. Instead, Barry just stayed crouching as he looked up at the clouds that came in and covered up some of the blueness of the sky.

"He's just--you know, I've talked to you about him before. He's not someone who...has the best track record around love." Barry looked back down at the headstone, he closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

"I'm _actually_ pathetic." Barry amusingly exhaled a chuckle, he leaned his face over his knuckles, "How long has it been since I started pining for him? Over a year now?"

Hal's face fell, his brows narrowing a bit and a frown washing over his features.

What kind of knucklehead was Barry pining over? How do they not see that Barry was madly in love with them?

Okay, maybe it was a bad idea for Hal to eavesdrop on Barry's one-sided conversation, but now he was desperate to know who had the chance to steal the speedster's heart away.

Barry was never one to wear his heart on his sleeve since he's been brutally bruised by emotions before.

Thinking about sleeves made Hal tug down on his own jacket sleeve, feeling the light spring breeze that lifted some leaves off the ground.

"I know I say this all the time, and I really do mean it. But...Hal's….he's something else... He's loyal, he's caring, he's emotional but at the same time, not."

The brunette froze from hearing his name come out of the speedster's mouth, a cold feeling wrapping around his whole body, even though he had his jacket on.

This had to be a joke, right? Barry didn't _actually_ have feelings for him.

Barry was straight. He was straighter than a ruler that measures a 180-degree line. Barry liked girls, unlike Hal who liked all genders.

They were opposites, and it had to stay that way or else Hal would actually have a chance at a relationship with Barry.

Oh no...

No, no, no, Hal couldn't have a relationship with his _best friend_. That'd just ruin everything. Everything Hal ever knew and loved about their friendship, just down the drain like soapy water.

**Loved.**

That word made his eyes widen, pupils dilated, lips dry, and breath uneven.

The word only brought dread into his stomach as he remembered how horrible it is to get attached to someone until you physically have a bouquet of flowers, a box of cheap chocolates, and a lazily made card in both hands just to give them up to this person that you aren't even sure if they still like you or not.

"I dunno, he's got this charm that you can't help but sort just...stare at." Barry continued, "And yeah, there're some flaws about him, like how he can be forgetful, or how stubborn he can be, or how much of a mess he is. But, you've always told me to accept other's flaws since we can't force them to change. So, I _have_ , subconsciously, accepted his flaws, and I've found myself appreciating, not only him but also myself, a little bit more."

The last sentence almost broke the Lantern because of how sincere it sounded.

Hal was so used to people pointing out his flaws and telling him to change. Explaining to him how they're trying to change him for the better. Yelling, shouting, getting visibly annoyed and angry at him when he tried his best, that it's gotten to the point that Hal's just accepted any kind of punishing exclaim when he was trying to do something to make them happy.

It's gotten so far that Hal forgot the feeling of what it was like to be complimented and have people accept and praise him for who we is.

"Hal makes me happy, mom. But, I…I don't know how he could ever find something good about me." Barry lowered his head, eyes looking down at the lilies, "I mean, yeah, I'm a superhero, but so is he. I guess I'm down-to-earth, but he's..."

Barry frustratedly huffed, then closed his eyes, "What I'm trying to say is, I'm not sure how good enough I am for him."

Hal's heart shattered, his mouth parting a bit from the words he heard but couldn't believe.

Was Barry _actually_ serious about all of this?

Don't get Hal wrong, he has listened to every single rant and vent Barry's ever laid upon him. Still, Hal has _never_ heard Barry talk so lowly about himself, and so highly about someone else.

That might be for good reason because the Lantern felt completely **crushed** when Barry said those words.

Hal just wanted to reach out and pull the speedster into a tight hug, no matter how much emotional confusion he was currently in.

"I wish you were still here, mom." Barry’s voice became soft, "Everything's just _so_ complicated."

Hal found himself wanting to reach out and touch Barry's shoulder. To turn him around and hug him, to tell him everything was going to be okay.

But, Hal knew he couldn't. Not only would it blow his cover and totally ruin Barry's trust. But Hal knew if there was even a single chance of them getting together, Hal would no doubt take it.

Meaning Barry would see the worst of him.

He'd see how much of a mess Hal actually was. How messed up and mentally traumatized Hal could get.

No one could  _ever_ see those parts of him. Not when they can't even deal with him when he has his mask on.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Hal slinked away, forcing himself to not look back at the mourning speedster.

When he snuck out past the gate, Hal pressed his hand to his forehead. Regret flowing through him, like he just broke off a friendship.

Taking a deep breath, Hal knew he had to get his mind from lingering too long on what he just did.

Reaching into his pant pocket, Hal took out his phone and let out a sigh.

Pulling up his contact numbers, he tapped on Jim's, texting his little brother, 'Tell mom Happy Mothers Day for me.'

Hastily locking his phone so he couldn't regret another thing he had done, Hal stored it away back in his pocket as he leaned against the brick wall surrounding the graveyard.

What was he supposed to do now?

 

* * *

 

"Hal?" Barry asked as he looked around and spotted the pilot leaned against the cemetery walls.

Hal looked up at him, then his eyes switched to looking at the gate, "You done already?"

"Uh, yeah..." Barry shot a confused expression toward Hal.

"Alright," Hal pushed off the wall but made no step towards the speedster.

Barry raised an eyebrow, "C' mon, power up. Clark said Mrs. Kent wanted the League to be at the farm before dinner. To celebrate Mothers Day with his family.”

"Well, it's not like _I’m_ the one who's always late." Hal teased, cracking a smile which made Barry grin.

As quick as a blink, Barry changed into his speedster uniform, "Let's see who's late _this_ time.” he posed in a runner’s stance, “Call me when you get there.”

With that, Barry zoomed off without a warning.

Rolling his eyes at the blond, Hal materialized his uniform onto himself as he let out a sigh.

"There's _nothing_ weird. He's just your _friend_ , _nothing_ more." Hal mumbled to himself, trying to forget the words Barry said a few minutes ago.

Nodding to himself after a few seconds, then he shot off towards the Kent's farm. Zooming pass buildings and plants, Hal swore he heard the words, 'Happy Mothers Day, mom.' being left behind as the speedster ran.


	2. Dear Uncle Barry,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Father's Day!  
> Hal finally chases after his feelings for the scarlet speedster and has help from a present to Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, this chapter comes to a very abrupt end.  
> Basically...I didn't divide time wisely and ended up writing most of the story in barely two days. Also, I've never heard of a DC canon timeline, have you? (that's my excuse for avoiding the fact that some parents are dead while others aren't.)  
> Anywho, I hope you all have a wonderful Father's Day, no matter who you see as a father figure in your life

Happy Father's Day Uncle Barry!

I know this isn't what you expected to be your card, but I had a lot of things to tell you. 

The first thing is that I'm really, really, really thankful to have you as someone who raised me. I know I can be a handful sometimes, but I'm glad you were so patient with me.

I'm so glad you and Aunt Iris decided to take me in as your own, even when you two split up, you guys still found a way for me to be able to visit the two of you frequently, and I'm  _so_ glad because I learned so much from you.

The second thing is, I found these papers I made as a child, about you, and decided it would be funny to gift them to you. Most of them are almost like diary entries, while others were just pictures. When I first found them I couldn't stop laughing, so I thought you'd have a nice laugh at them as well.

Again, thank you so, so much for everything, and I wish you the best Father's Day ever!

Love,

Wally West

 

"Aww... Wally! You didn't have to!" Barry felt himself starting to tear up. What did he do to deserve such a loving nephew?

"I didn't, but I wanted to." Wally's smile widened as Barry brought him into a tight, appreciative hug, "I love you, Uncle Barry."

"I love you too, Wally." Barry pulled away, placing the present box and card down on the kitchen table, "Hey, why don't you sit down and I make you some food?"

"Oh..." Wally's smile turned sheepish, "Uh, actually... Iris wanted me to just drop off the gift and run back home since her...her girlfriend is coming over...uh, today. And...I guess she wanted to introduce me to her."

"Oh," Barry's face slight fell, but he quickly placed on another bright smile, "That's fine. Tell Iris I wish her luck on her date, and...thank you."

The redhead hugged his uncle again, "You deserve it, and I'll make sure to tell her that."

The two pulled away, a touch of awkwardness lingering.

"Oh! Iris also told me to tell you that she hopes to see you more out on the streets of Central as a friend and reporter." Wally turned around and got into a running stance.

Barry smiled softly, at least Iris still thought of him as a person. "Tell her I say thanks."

"What am I? A messenger?"

Barry chuckled as he ruffled at Wally's hair, "You basically are one when you become a speedster."

"Happy Father's Day Uncle Barry!" Wally replied, then he blasted off, closing and locking the front door along the way.

Barry smirked, "Take care, Wally."

Staring at the front door for a few seconds, Barry's eyes looked down at the gift.  Wally was such a little goofball but he had his heart in the right place.

His stomach replied with a growl, demanding food or else it'd eat itself.

"Alright, alright, I get it...food first."

 

* * *

 

The wind ruffled the sort blades of glass that somehow planted themselves into the land of graves and headstones.

"Jim?"

"Hmm?"

Hal turned his head to face his younger brother, glad that at least he had _one_ person to talk to.

Jack and his mother visited his father's grave much earlier than him, mainly because he was caught up in a space riot that - luckily - got resolved pretty quickly.

"Hal?" Jim tilted his head towards his brother, snapping Hal back to reality before the wind could carry his thoughts off.

"Yeah, sorry..." the Lantern blinked, eyes looking around before they landed on Jim's. Hal sighed, turning to face the headstones, bringing his elbows up and behind him to rest on the top of the bench's backrest, and placing his leg on his other leg's knee.

Hal was quiet for a few moments, his right hand's thumb rubbing against the tip of his index finger. His tongue flicked out, tentatively wetting his chapped lips, then purses them together. "If Dad were here..." Hal began, pausing to think over his sentence, then took a deep breath, "If Dad were here, what's the best relationship advice he'd give?"

Jim lifted an eyebrow, his eyes moving towards where Hal's were looking. Off in the distance, there was a small grey dot, that dot was a headstone, and that headstone had the name 'Martian Jordan' carved into it. Underneath the headstone laid a coffin made of maple wood, with accents of pinkish-orange copper detailing.

"Probably to just be yourself." Jim shrugged, as he pulled out his phone and read a message that was sent to him on the spot.

"Hmm..." Hal tilted his hand to the side as he thought about it.

"Why?" Jim questioned after he slipped his phone back into his pocket, "I thought you said you and Carol are officially over, a few months prior."

"We are." Hal replied, tilting his head back up, "It's another person."

Jim lifted an eyebrow, "Really? Do I know them?"

"Well...sort of...?" Hal answered questionably, "It's hard to explain. They're not typically known to be front cover news, but they usually are the one... “writing" it."

"Okay..." Jim nodded, although not fully understanding, he didn't want to pry _too_ much into Hal's love life, "Well, when I asked Dad how he knew mom was the right one, he said he just knew it in his heart or his gut. I can't be too sure which one to be honest."

Hal's scoff threw his younger brother off, "Heart. I don't _have_ a heart, Jim."

Jim cocked his head to the side and looked at his older brother, "And how's that supposed to work? You're living, you're breathing, I'm pretty sure you have a beating heart somewhere underneath that ribcage of yours."

Hal wanted to rebut with a snarky reply like, 'By how many times I've actually died, I highly doubt that.' but he knew he had to think carefully about his identity before he told someone. Shaking his head, Hal frowned as he hung his head, "Besides, I thought I felt it in my heart when I fell in love with Carol. Guess I was wrong."

There was a thick silence for a few seconds as Jim thought at the words his brother said. His phone buzzing in his pocket, but he decided to ignore it. "I'm sure you felt affection for Carol in your heart, it's just that you made more mistakes than you could've fixed." Jim pointed out, "I think it was just the fact that you were getting used to balancing out a relationship with everything else in your life, that you simply forgot to show that love and affection to Carol."

"I was dating her for more than a couple of years. I should've gotten the hang of balancing those things out by that point." Hal sighed, remembering back on arguments he'd have with Carol about some small thing, or other.

"Well," Jim tapped his pointer finger to his chin, "Maybe the universe was giving you Carol to just practice your commitment and love choices on. Someone who knows you well enough to give you more chances, but has a limit. Maybe the universe is letting you have another chance at love by giving you this other person. To prove that you learned from Carol."

Hal looked over at Jim, eyes wandering the ground when he was trying to absorb what his brother just told him. His brown eyes looked back up at his brother's, "You sure do know how to pep-talk, don't you, Jim?"

Jim smiled, all wide and bright, "I just feel like it's something Dad would've told us." he said softly, pulling his hands to be neatly placed in his lap.

 

* * *

 

"Howl?" Barry questioned, between a mouthful of pasta that was behind his hand.

Hal smiled at the speedster, a little at how adorable he found the small splotches of sauce Barry tried to wipe away in mere milliseconds, and how the blond was trying to be polite, despite the fact that he was in the middle of scoffing down a plateful of food.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could come in?" he tilted his head in a way he'd never done to look innocent.

Barry swallowed his food, quickly swiping the used napkin in his hand - over his mouth, opening the door a bit more for Hal to slip into his house, then closing it.

"What're you doing here?" Barry curiously asked, tongue flicking out to lick away some sauce from the corner of his lips.

"Uh," Hal watched the small motion, brown eyes moving back to Barry's, "just wanted to see what you were doing, uh...on Fathers Day. Y'know, cause..."

"Oh, right. I was actually planning to talk to my dad in prison later. But, Wally gave me a...uh...well, he gave me a gift for Fathers Day."

"Really?" the brunette pulled off his jacket from his arm, "That's...actually really considerate of him." Hal looked up at the ceiling as if he was thinking.

"Yeah," Barry diffidently smiled, then sighed in appreciation, "I'm glad he still...still sees me as a...you know..."

"A father figure?" Hal completed his sentence, looking over his shoulder as he hung up his jacket on the coat rack.

"Yeah," the blond repeated. "It's just nice to know that someone..." Barry trailed off, eyes flickering around the room before they locked on Hal's, making the speedster clear his throat, "So, what are you doing here? No plans?"

"Actually, I went to visit my dad at the..." Hal scratched the bridge of his nose as he tried to find another word besides 'graveyard'. Barry's brows knitted together as he politely smiled and understandably nodded, a gesture for Hal forget the word and keep going. "Uh, yeah... With Jim."

"That sound calming." blond brows smooth out, his eyes snapping to his half-full plate of pasta, then back to Hal. "You hungry? Bet I have something in my fridge you could eat."

"Uh, you don't have to," Hal said, remembering why he came to visit the speedster in the first place.

"It's fine." Barry waved his hand in dismissal of the Lantern's answer. Walking to the kitchen, he pulled out a chair and gestured Hal to sit on it.

Hal let out a defeated, yet grateful, sigh. His attention focused on the unwrapped box in front of him. "Is this the present Wally gave you?"

Barry looked over the fridge door, "Oh, yeah, it is."

"What is it?" Hal curiously thumbed at the unripped wrapping paper, "If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't," the blond pulled out a takeout box from the fridge and went over to the microwave to heat it up, "It's kinda like fragments of a diary. Wally used to write or draw down what he saw, or what he thought."

"Aw, that's cute." Hal smiled, watching the blond work unhurriedly, "Can I...look at them?"

The microwave beeps as the speedster pulled out the heated tray and grabbed a fork and spoon, "Sure," Barry turned around and strolled to the seat next to Hal's. "I already went through one-third of it, and it's...it’s so cute, Hal." the blond collapses in his chair and pushed the food closer to the brunette, feeling like his soul finally exploded and he's finally expressing himself. "His stickmen are so cute, and his sloppy writing brings me back to simpler times, y'know?"

Hal grinned and nodded, looking over some stick men drawings and papers filled with scribbles as well as overlapping letters, "He's grown a lot."

Barry placed his elbow on the table and rested his cheek in his hand, picking up a piece of paper from the unread stack and looking it over, "He really has."

Hal chuckled when he saw a messy version of the Green Lantern symbol scrawled over a green stickman's chest, "Look, I think that's me!" Hal pointed to the drawing as Barry leaned over to look at it, resulting in both of them having a good laugh over the simple figure.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, look at, it's me and you." Hal waved a piece of paper in front of the speedster's face as he swallowed a mouthful of rice and chicken."Barry?" He leaned over to see what caught the blond's attention, and...what got his face to be so red.

It was one of those small, sloppy diary entries. It read: 'uncle barry is acting sad. he keeps looking at hal in a sad way and I think he thinks hal doesn't like him in the way he likes him. i feel sad for uncle barry but i do not think he knows hal looks at him in the sam way but not at the same tim as him. i hop won day thay see each othr look at the othr prson and see that thay love each othr.'

"Uh." Hal pulled back and away, giving Barry the chance to turn his head to face the brunette. Their faces growing a deep shade of crimson as they sat in uncomfortable silence. The atmosphere was thick, Barry's blue eyes lingering on Hal's, while Hal could barely look at Barry's face.

Hal opened his mouth, yet was unable to say anything, so he bit his bottom lip instead.

The speedster looked back at the piece of paper, then nervously chuckled. "Ah...kids. They're...they have such a...uhm, big...imagination..."

This was his chance. Hal placed the paper he was holding down on the table, placing one hand over the other, then placing his chin on the back of his hand. "Imagination can come from dreams."

Crap. Why the hell couldn't he just get to the point?

Barry looked to Hal, his eyebrows raised and a nervous smile painting his lips, "I...yeah, I guess."

"You know what's my dream?" Hal leaned in closer to the blond, whose face now has a faint dusting of pink and red. His pale features becoming more scarlet, and jaw growing slacker when brown eyes glance down at his lips for just a second.

"Hal?" Barry breathed, breath hitching and heartbeat starting to race.

His brown eyes shone in anticipation as his tongue flickers out to wet his lips. "Do you...can I?"

After a few beats, the speedster surged forward, capturing the pilot's lips with his own. Surprising the brunette for a second; however, he quickly melted against the blond’s touch, before the sudden jolt of electricity ran through him, causing him to gasp.

In a second, Barry's face was at least a foot from his own, "Sorry! I-I forgot I did that when I'm--uh...when I'm excited..."

Hal swallowed, realizing how dumb it was for him to reject his emotions for so long. "Barry?"

"Yeah...?" the speedster hesitantly squeaked.

"Can we...do that? Again?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome, to the end...of the story. Not the world...maybe.  
> I accept any constructive criticism you have on my work, as well as any kudos that hug my heart, or maybe even a sneaky comment that makes me question how anyone could say the world is in chaos when we have people like you.  
> I hope you enjoyed the story, and have an AMAZING day!


End file.
